I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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