If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
