Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Randomize
