The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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