The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize