He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize