No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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