If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
