u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
