Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
