she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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