And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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