She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
