i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
