Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
