The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
