is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
