dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
