guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
