I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Drunk is not a location!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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