I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
