is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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