I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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