Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
