well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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