How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
