why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
