Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
