Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My pussy is not your playground.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
