hell yes lets make some ravioli
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
