you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
organizing the empties. That sober.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
