I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
