I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
