I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
