I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
