we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize