I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
