lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize