She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
