They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm passing your future prison.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
