So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize