I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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