Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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