We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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