Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
