Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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