Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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