You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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