I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
