woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm bleeding and have questions
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
