I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
