Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
