Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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