she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
