Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am midnight drunk by noon
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
