my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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