Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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