The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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