well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
