They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
