Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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