My brain says no but my pants say off.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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