there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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