I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
