Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
