So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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